We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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