i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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