yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
