If i come over, it means nothing
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
