Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
