She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
