dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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