grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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