dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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