i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
