I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I would fuck him just for his dog
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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