you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
