he wants to bone in the snuggie
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
