I wish i was in the wii world.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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