guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
