I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
