You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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