i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
