its not stalking. its research.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I want to fling myself into the sun
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
