fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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