in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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