just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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