just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize