My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
