she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
