Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
