guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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