i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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