She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
