How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
