It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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