We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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