You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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