we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You are the jesus of drinking
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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