Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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