So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
