Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
