Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize