Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize