But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I want to be your penis for a week.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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