Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
