My first STD was from a foam party
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
