STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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