oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize