I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
