i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have tasted many bathrooms
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
