I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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