i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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