i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
