Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
