So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
