remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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