ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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