It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
