just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
