My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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