What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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