That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
