He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
