nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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