I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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