why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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