We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
